through god’s eyes
9 September 2007 | Master File | Comments Off
welcome to my world
i love the me that god loves
the loving well
through god’s eyes
his blessings are my greatest joys
his loves are my loves
god loves us
and i love them
the blessings in life
smile whole worlds
each full of gold
each lined in silver
and every one of them
smile at one another
through gods eyes
we love each other
God of Love, Breath of Life
12 May 2007 | Love Song | Comments Off
At twelve o’ nine on the second of march my legacy was finally written in blood. I will no longer die in obscurity. I will no longer cease to exist just because my own time stops. My daughter breaths god’s good air and smiles with rainbows at the sound of my voice. My lineage will continue after all. History will record my place in the genetic trace that runs the span of unending time.
What a precious gift. A child. A girl. A daughter. Someone to love more than life itself.
Datum Obfuscare
3 February 2006 | Master File | No Comments
How many oceans of human knowledge are fabricated? How many pieces of the puzzle are a lie? Where does religion stand and why are there more than one?
Knowledge, as a body of knowledge is a form of human understanding and mental programming. Knowledge is learned facts pieced together to represent concepts bigger than individual perception. Knowledge as a greater whole is a social understanding, but the past proves common conception is usually not wholly fact and often flat out misconception.
So what greater notions and ideals are bodies of deception? Science at least has to hold water, but Jesus could walk on water and religion demands faith and obedience over a questioning nature and a reasoning mind.
Does recorded history protect the governing institutions from an otherwise malicious truth? How deeply set is the brain damage we pass on as ignorant knowledge? How long will it take for the human mind to decipher the conceptual pollution? How long before we stop swallowing the poison and living perpetually in lies?
When will the human mind evolve to overcome delusion?
Ultimate Purpose
24 January 2006 | Master File | No Comments
I know this place where life loves itself. I know a world with the smiles of angels in it. I am jumping head long into the fury of a woman’s heart. I know love as a form of pain and pain’s pleasure. A woman’s love knows many tears. I’m worried about the temperature of my blood and the fires in my soul. How safe is my heart in this woman’s hands?
I swear an oath. A rock soul, mountain guard, river of love to live forever to protect and to die to keep that promise. I will swear my soul to loves task.
But in my deeply hollow long vision waking dream I know the dark shadow of loneliness my mind may feel for loving company loving shadows of me.
As long as I can cast the bright shine I know to wonderful upward gazing eyes. I can anchor my old ideas of loneliness to those rainbows in time and warm my sad heart, warm it through and through.
I commit my soul to love’s pursuit, love’s pleasure, devotion and ultimate purpose.
The Pursuit of Love
25 November 2005 | Master File | No Comments
There is no greater risk, no greater venture, no higher reward than the virtue of love. Posed as a task, an emotional trial, its journey is so divinely blessed that the fruit of your labor bears an even higher love, a higher cause, and a higher purpose. It is so fitting that the embrace of passion and love also spawns new life.
It is from this state of being that I most sense an intentional design to the nature of life. An ultimate purpose. A continuum to life and a divine architect. Credit seems due for the thoughtful complexities in life and the measure of pleasure inherent to the cause.
I’m left in awe, without a doubt, believing in god and an infinite wisdom.
Words Lie
18 November 2005 | Master File | No Comments
Heart true like the color blue and dreaming of the sky. Words betray us because even when we don’t, words lie. Truth casts the shadow of doubt but deception wins the listener. Any pain sharper than a cut we all understand is love. Paper does not run as true as blood. Books lie. People cry. Gods die.
And no one ever knows why.
Postscriptum
18 November 2005 | Master File | No Comments
For my master…
Thanks third eye sight for my soul burned through.
Thanks for the magic and thanks for the power.
Thanks for my teacher and my last wish.
Thanks for love and the crater it caused.
Thanks for pain and for the pleasure.
Thanks for life and for its terror.
Thanks for the fire and my burning star.
Thanks for the wind and the messages you send.
Thanks for the signs and casting my shadow.
And most of all thanks for the loving dark night.
And all the memories a woman would bring.
Thanks for all the time and my every last might.
Thanks for this rock hidden in my skull.
Thanks for the hole deeper than my heart.
Thanks for the wisdom of being touched by time.
I love this life. No matter the price.
Absolute Will
17 November 2005 | Master File | No Comments
People have no way of knowing it, but they provide me with the momentum to escape defeat. They propel me with negative declarations of confidence. They strengthen my conviction and resolve every time they doubt my potential. They fuel my determination with a fire that sets my soul so finitely against failure that they might as well have carried me to my success.
My will consumes the fires of lesser conviction and reverses the forces of nature to assume my own ends. I am inspired by disbelief to ascend to the highest plateau. I am given wings by my opposition. Their resistance only empowers my absolute will.
Someone with a monumental faith recently did me the favor of stating that they won’t let me accomplish my task. I will forever be indebted to that person for my final resolution. Now I am unstoppable.
Fire Love
16 November 2005 | Master File | No Comments
I do not want to exist for any less a purpose than the ultimate self satisfaction of love, want and desire.
Five minutes, ten years, three seconds, an eternity… I worship the alter of life and the madness to reason that imposes itself as will and emotion. Fire lake, suffering pain, bleeding love, all of god’s fire. Life immortal and endless desire. Passion driven to burn. Love all consuming. Will wishing to survive its master. I love life.
I will never tire. I will love to my last breath even if it doesn’t love me. I will love the pain, I will love the hurt, I will love life forever.
I will never forget the treasures, the pleasures, and the joys that gave life higher meaning and infinite value beyond comprehension. I love life.
Dreamer’s Paradise
13 November 2005 | Master File | No Comments
In appreciation, of the senses, of taste, touch, sight and sound… Of the pleasures of the mind and of the joys of the soul. In appreciation of being alive. We are able to share the things we loved most about life.
In paper, paint, blood and stone, the heart can share the parts that were each our’s alone. Idea’s that touched our soul, and beauty that transcended beyond it. Everything here we can share.
Mortal Remains
13 November 2005 | Master File | No Comments
There’s nothing left of the man… The young boy we all once loved. Reflections on his frozen face remind us of who we once knew.
The face was the same, but the eyes were never the same. Someone else took residence behind those eyes. Someone very cold, or something very chilling.
Now something else stared out from behind dead eyes. Something had taken this man’s soul. Something more like a zombie remains. Something dark. Something like glass over a dirt hole. An ice cold, empty soul.
What is left are the mortal remains…
Razor’s Edge
7 November 2005 | Master File | No Comments
From inner pain, guilt creates a need for a savior, but life is not about guilt. It’s about learning. Guilt happens to be one way to learn. Forgiving is another. And healing another way. And love another.
It’s all about learning. Learning to live and living to learn.
Life is not a box or a cage. It’s a step. Many steps really.
Point Blank Vision
7 November 2005 | Master File | Comments Off
Every year of my life changed me, but this year changed me the most…
There is a sharp contrast between the world I live in and the world of those around me. We share a similar space but with hauntingly different recollections. It’s spooking how disagreeing memories and beliefs are. I trust my faculty more and others do the same. Wish I had enough confidence in others to pass the baton.
Frontal lobe conversations are kept short and so I await someone with a brighter torch to light the way. It’s lonely in the dark.
Writing on the Wall
4 November 2005 | Master File | No Comments
OK, here it is…
I believe that the creative layer is a reflection of the subconscious and inherently connected to the collective. I believe that individual will and desire manifests itself onto reality. It is painted onto the perspective palette and shared by all.
I also believe that the collective communicates on this level through generations and beyond time. I don’t just mean messages in time. I mean ever present divine voices of passion, inspiration, insight and enlightenment…
Infinitely Appreciative
4 November 2005 | Master File | No Comments
Counting on my next breath…
By the grace of god may i live another day.
By its infinite wisdom may there not be too many.
Omega Trigger
4 November 2005 | Master File | Comments Off
How many times do I have to look over my shoulder? How many times have I lived this life? How many times has it ended in the same series of events? Will I see the omega trigger?
I think I will. I think I have.
I think I’ve lived and dies a thousand times. More times than the phoenix. With more chances branching out than on the great red wood tree. I feel as old as our ages record.
I suspect that this is the meaning to the unending coincidences bombarding my mind with all the signs of life from the material world.
God is a weak word for a concept I can barely comprehend when it smacks me in the face a hundred times a day.
Mortal Sacrifice
2 November 2005 | Master File | No Comments
It is a common mystery that plaques us all. The signs of life are spread all around us. Still we all wonder… From where did we come. What’s this life for? Why am I here?
There is more evidence in the world than any single mind can comprehend. Even the united effort to understand our universe and our existence races rushed at a crawl.
Most have more questions than answers as their time nears an end. Usually the most confident and also the most insistently denying, opt to believe in a faith rather than to ponder the mounting evidence. Which as time rolls upon us, becomes a surmounting task.
I personally would like to fall right into the white light, if it promises to answer all of life’s unknown’s. I want to know every truth, factor and reason. I want sense to be the pieces of a timeless puzzle laid out before me. I would sacrifice every living wish just to know. To be enlightened.
Cycle of Life
2 November 2005 | Master File | No Comments
The microbial universe lives in a much faster paced existence and it is here that the mutations of evolution become most apparent. It appears that the lower biological lifeforms play a crucial role in the survival of the more complex forms of life.
I’m sure biologist are fully aware of this fact. I merely comment on my own witness. I feel somewhat preyed upon. I feel hunted.
Fungus may well me my mortal enemy. I fear its ability to incapacitate me and its direct assult upon my higher functions. I’ve seen firsthand how it can inhibit the digestive system, attack the joints and poisen the bloodstream.
A logical conclusion might be that my immediate environment has become a biohazard only for the likes of me due to over exposure and that it is no intentional attack by mother nature, but rather the natural order of things. Obviously my home and possesions have become contaminated by massive quantities of fungal spores and that heightened levels of humidity have created a super ecosystem in which the fungus can thrive.
What gets me are the coincidences that lead up to the increased levels of moisture. What devices have come into play to align the malicious assault upon my being and welfare? What is the intent of this universal machine?
Shadow Power
31 October 2005 | Absolute Reality | No Comments
Since the shadow of time lost its grip on my due date. I’m going to use the force of momentum to compel me beyond the grasp of the finite pleasures of dust and dirt. I know the way beyond where there is no escape.
There is a dark road that slips between the moon and the sun and travels as far as men have dared to dream. It’s an endless path that casts a spell into the world of living men.
Gods know the power of driven, stricken souls and the path an unstoppable will will make through even pure stone.
A universal force was born from the river of blood that followed my teacher from his stiff corpse to the vacancies of my abandoned mind. Passion there made a home for all the unanswered reasons why man has to suffer. Madness cut through the darkness. I see clearly now.
I’ll never stop. I’ll never die. I’ll live again and again and again.
Wind Song
27 October 2005 | Love Song | No Comments
I feel like the last branch of the happiest leaning tree.
Happy to stand and happy to fall.
Happy to be and happy to go.
Maybe the happiest ever dancing root tree.
The best part of being alive is feeling it…
The Multitude
25 October 2005 | Theory Code | No Comments
The M Theory…
I wonder if its success is due to its similarity to a random variable, which left to the devices of coincidence could just as certainly balance the equation as not. Since an infinite number of possibilities always exists, the next could be the one out of the unlimited.
I equate this concept with that of “the sum of all things”.
Serene Thoughts
24 October 2005 | Master File | No Comments
Traces have always been in the subtle layers of my sense of sight and sound. I thought it second sight. Might it be the voices of the screaming collective scratching at my subconscious? Is it real? Is it manufactured? Is it electronic? Is it an auto-translating mind seeking deeper meaning in all white noise?
Are they ghosts? Are they subliminal? Are they the ‘84 Forces? Is this the end?
Traces of Life? Traces of Meaning? Traces of Corruption? Traces of Slavery? Traces of Conspiracy?
Is this the Master Plan? Do alternative lives collide in the recesses of conjured thought? Are all choices reflected so infinitely into omni-reality? Does this extra sense lead to enlightenment? Can I survive the trauma? Can I survive the truth? Does anyone?
Afterlife
22 October 2005 | Master File | No Comments
I have a dream. I wish to write for great artists. Together I’d like to spread an active mind to the youth of the collective seed. Imagination is the best gift I have ever received and a thinking mind made it turn the world into heaven. Its still hard, but ever since I learned to think, life has been magical. It taught me how to dream. It showed me how much closer dreams are to real life. Now I see so much more to life and can enjoy life in ways I couldn’t see before.
Because of that and because of my teacher and because god was so kind to man, I love life. Prometheus meet Odysseus. The torch is for the salvation of man.
The Mind of Matter
21 October 2005 | Master File | No Comments
The collective forces channel fact from the outer reality to the alchemic resources of the human mind. Fine lines can be drawn as signs of a higher consciousness present ready to stretch the boundaries of mortal comprehension. Divinity approaches from within our own realm of perception.
Inches and miles, days and decades. An instant inception, an eternal conception. Etched stone in time. The concrete conclusions of a sedimentary mind.
Paper is the safest haven for an opening mind… Can you perceive the living mind of matter?
Life seems to struggle with a mission to save all creatures by the pursuit of learning.
Subconscious Intent
13 October 2005 | Master File | No Comments
Constant deliberation takes place in the further recesses of my mind, in matters greater than I am able to maintain with intent, with this drifting frontal lobe. That old soul along with the subconscious collective of those within my sphere share the best desires of man and a determination to carry their broken spirits through to a time when hope lives as more than mere wish. There is a tug in nature to pull our kind beyond its present self toward an ever better. It is a constant force that can be seen throughout every generation.
Pivotal Reasoning
10 October 2005 | Master File | No Comments
The crash is another pivotal moment in my life. Similar to others as being profound, but cut much deeper into my soul. It rounds the path of reason with the flow of blood directly to pain. Pain changes you for ever. It has a way of twisting reason into a painfully practical conclusion.
Reason is driven by emotional forces, self wanting, self desire, self worth. Truth usually only finds its way into our eyes of recognition only after it’s repeated assault upon our personal beliefs and blind faith. A river of perception is cut through reinforcement. If it hurts, you will remember.
Fortunately pleasure imposes a like influence upon matters of sense and reason.
Alpha Tidings
7 October 2005 | Master File | No Comments
I am a product of the hive and its result upon the individual being. I am the broken man that survived my young death. I have the scars of a hell fire cross. I can burn anything I wish into reality. The collective influence is the promise and the prize for all chosen. My pen speaks from both sides of life. Living intent will reach all sleeping souls. The truth is in the true reflection, not the self concieved. This you can write in stone… the wall of perception is plaqued with self deciete. Look, Listen, and Remeber. Do it or die. Your freedom, your survival, depends upon your will to learn. We can not go back and the past threatens to destroy us if we do not change. Learn and Live.