welcome to my world
i love the me that god loves
the loving well
through god’s eyes

his blessings are my greatest joys
his loves are my loves
god loves us
and i love them

the blessings in life
smile whole worlds
each full of gold
each lined in silver

and every one of them
smile at one another
through gods eyes
we love each other

At twelve o’ nine on the second of march my legacy was finally written in blood. I will no longer die in obscurity. I will no longer cease to exist just because my own time stops. My daughter breaths god’s good air and smiles with rainbows at the sound of my voice. My lineage will continue after all. History will record my place in the genetic trace that runs the span of unending time.

What a precious gift. A child. A girl. A daughter. Someone to love more than life itself.

How many oceans of human knowledge are fabricated? How many pieces of the puzzle are a lie? Where does religion stand and why are there more than one?

Knowledge, as a body of knowledge is a form of human understanding and mental programming. Knowledge is learned facts pieced together to represent concepts bigger than individual perception. Knowledge as a greater whole is a social understanding, but the past proves common conception is usually not wholly fact and often flat out misconception.

So what greater notions and ideals are bodies of deception? Science at least has to hold water, but Jesus could walk on water and religion demands faith and obedience over a questioning nature and a reasoning mind.

Does recorded history protect the governing institutions from an otherwise malicious truth? How deeply set is the brain damage we pass on as ignorant knowledge? How long will it take for the human mind to decipher the conceptual pollution? How long before we stop swallowing the poison and living perpetually in lies?

When will the human mind evolve to overcome delusion?

I know this place where life loves itself. I know a world with the smiles of angels in it. I am jumping head long into the fury of a woman’s heart. I know love as a form of pain and pain’s pleasure. A woman’s love knows many tears. I’m worried about the temperature of my blood and the fires in my soul. How safe is my heart in this woman’s hands?

I swear an oath. A rock soul, mountain guard, river of love to live forever to protect and to die to keep that promise. I will swear my soul to loves task.

But in my deeply hollow long vision waking dream I know the dark shadow of loneliness my mind may feel for loving company loving shadows of me.

As long as I can cast the bright shine I know to wonderful upward gazing eyes. I can anchor my old ideas of loneliness to those rainbows in time and warm my sad heart, warm it through and through.

I commit my soul to love’s pursuit, love’s pleasure, devotion and ultimate purpose.

There is no greater risk, no greater venture, no higher reward than the virtue of love. Posed as a task, an emotional trial, its journey is so divinely blessed that the fruit of your labor bears an even higher love, a higher cause, and a higher purpose. It is so fitting that the embrace of passion and love also spawns new life.

It is from this state of being that I most sense an intentional design to the nature of life. An ultimate purpose. A continuum to life and a divine architect. Credit seems due for the thoughtful complexities in life and the measure of pleasure inherent to the cause.

I’m left in awe, without a doubt, believing in god and an infinite wisdom.

Heart true like the color blue and dreaming of the sky. Words betray us because even when we don’t, words lie. Truth casts the shadow of doubt but deception wins the listener. Any pain sharper than a cut we all understand is love. Paper does not run as true as blood. Books lie. People cry. Gods die.

And no one ever knows why.

For my master…

Thanks third eye sight for my soul burned through.
Thanks for the magic and thanks for the power.
Thanks for my teacher and my last wish.

Thanks for love and the crater it caused.
Thanks for pain and for the pleasure.
Thanks for life and for its terror.

Thanks for the fire and my burning star.
Thanks for the wind and the messages you send.
Thanks for the signs and casting my shadow.

And most of all thanks for the loving dark night.
And all the memories a woman would bring.
Thanks for all the time and my every last might.

Thanks for this rock hidden in my skull.
Thanks for the hole deeper than my heart.
Thanks for the wisdom of being touched by time.

I love this life. No matter the price.

People have no way of knowing it, but they provide me with the momentum to escape defeat. They propel me with negative declarations of confidence. They strengthen my conviction and resolve every time they doubt my potential. They fuel my determination with a fire that sets my soul so finitely against failure that they might as well have carried me to my success.

My will consumes the fires of lesser conviction and reverses the forces of nature to assume my own ends. I am inspired by disbelief to ascend to the highest plateau. I am given wings by my opposition. Their resistance only empowers my absolute will.

Someone with a monumental faith recently did me the favor of stating that they won’t let me accomplish my task. I will forever be indebted to that person for my final resolution. Now I am unstoppable.

I do not want to exist for any less a purpose than the ultimate self satisfaction of love, want and desire.

Five minutes, ten years, three seconds, an eternity… I worship the alter of life and the madness to reason that imposes itself as will and emotion. Fire lake, suffering pain, bleeding love, all of god’s fire. Life immortal and endless desire. Passion driven to burn. Love all consuming. Will wishing to survive its master. I love life.

I will never tire. I will love to my last breath even if it doesn’t love me. I will love the pain, I will love the hurt, I will love life forever.

I will never forget the treasures, the pleasures, and the joys that gave life higher meaning and infinite value beyond comprehension. I love life.

In appreciation, of the senses, of taste, touch, sight and sound… Of the pleasures of the mind and of the joys of the soul. In appreciation of being alive. We are able to share the things we loved most about life.

In paper, paint, blood and stone, the heart can share the parts that were each our’s alone. Idea’s that touched our soul, and beauty that transcended beyond it. Everything here we can share.